Can you believe you can do marriage preparation watching a movie? Overhearing (and over-watching) others can be a great learning tool.

Rent the movie The Story of Us starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis. Here’s a relationship that gets into a lot of trouble.

After the movie, discuss what went wrong and how they could have prevented things going so bad.

If you’d like a free extended guide to discussing the movie go to http://www.smartmarriages.com/story.guide.html

Please note! This movie is Rated R. Every once in a while someone tells me they hated this movie!

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Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. (Ladies, if he literally wants to wear your clothes, you may want to get him help).

Be the other person and describe what your day is like.

We all know what our day is like and all the problems we have to deal with. But what is my partner’s day like?

Do your best to try to understand their unique challenges. What’s it like being them? Who are the people they deal with? What expectations do they face from others? What’s it like having you as their partner?

Want to go deeper? Think about past family experiences of your partner. Put yourself in those shoes and see how they affect you day to day.

This is another exercise designed to value your significant other  - to show them respect, understanding and appreciation. 

Below are 12 aspects of a relationship.

Each of you look through the list and decide on 3 that you believe are strength areas in your relationship right now, and decide on 3 that you believe are growth areas in your relationship right now.

Mark a “S” beside the 3 strength areas and a “G” beside the 3 growth areas. Whoever goes first, be sure your responses are covered so your partner can’t see what you have marked (or print two copies of this page).

When you both are finished, take a look and see if you marked most of the same areas. Discuss any differences, and what you were thinking when you marked what you did.

She says (left side) and He says (right side)

___     communication skills        ___

___     resolving conflicts         ___

___     expectations of marriage       ___

___     money matters         ___

___     shared recreation activities   ___

___     children & parenting views     ___

___     extended family issues         ___

___     husband / wife roles        ___

___     family backgrounds        ___

___     religious views & practices    ___

___     personality concerns        ___

___     sexual relationship issues     ___

Read the rest of this entry »

Respect for each other is very important for a health relationship.

One way of showing respect is by valuing the differences between us.

There are different types of intelligence. I was getting a battery replaced in my car the other day and the girl (yes, girl) that was putting in the battery in my car told me that her dad was very book smart. He could write a book and tell you how to disassemble a car engine and then put it back together again. But he couldn’t actually do it. She could!

Again, there are many kinds of “smarts.” Some are socially intelligent. They have a natural ability to relate well to others. Other people may not be so good in social settings, but can logically identify a problem, come up with solutions and solve it.

Our vocations differ. Over a period of time we acquire knowledge and develop skills that others do not have.

Here’s the exercise:

What is something each of you knows a lot about that the other knows little about.

What are your unique gifts and abilities?

Teach each other something.

Take time to listen and learn from each other.

Your partner will feel valued and respected.

This is a simple and fun exercise and one in which you can learn alot about each other. 

Each of you describe your favorite vacation and what made it so great.

Aside note: Gary Smalley who writes and speaks widely on marriage and family topics has found in questioning thousands of people in his seminars that the one activity that seems to bring families close more than any other single thing is camping.

There’s something about camping. The adventure, the problems you encounter along the way but pull through as a family, and the lack of distractions are probably some of the reasons so many families report camping as a family activity that made them close.

Maybe camping is not your thing. That’s ok. But think about the principle here and how you can use it to make your marriage and someday your family strong and close.

It’s not necessarily how far you go, and how much money you spend. It’s what you do and what happens along the way.

What are your thoughts? 
 

It’s fun to dream, and our dreams say a lot about what is important to us.

Let’s say you favorite uncle left you a million dollars!

What would you do with the money?

You might want to write out your answers separately, and then come together to discuss what you’ve written.

You can learn a lot about each other’s aspirations, values and hopes.

After you have made a $20 donation (go here if you have not done that yet), email me brief responses to the questions below to verify you’ve spent at least 4 hrs with the Course, and be sure to include the mailing address where you want the completion certificate sent. (The certificate cannot be faxed or emailed).

You can copy and paste these questions in an email and send to me at:

ralph . griggs  @  gmail  .   com (remove spaces in email address - done this way to prevent spamming)

Note: Thinking about what you’ve learned/gained is part of the Course!

GROOM’S NAME AND ADDRESS:

BRIDES’S NAME AND ADDRESS:

SOMETHING I LEARNED ABOUT US DURING THIS COURSE

He said:

She said:

SOMETHING I LEARNED ABOUT ME DURING THIS COURSE

He said:

She said:

THIS COURSE WILL HELPFUL TO US IN THIS WAY:

THIS COURSE COULD BE IMPROVED IN THIS WAY:

TOTAL TIME SPENT ON THE COURSE (you must spend at least 4 hrs. in the course to receive a certificate of completion):

DATE COMPLETED (must be within one year of applying for your marriage license):

MAILING ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT THE COMPLETION CERTIFICATE MAILED: