I used to say, along with everyone else, that marriage is hard work. Yes, challenges will come in life that affect the marriage. There are differences to work through. And you must invest time into your relationship.

But if we view marriage primarily as something you have to “work at,” we may actually miss what a good marriage is.

It’s nice to stumble across someone who agrees with you when you are going against the grain of conventional wisdom.  So here’s a quote from Willard Harley, author of the best selling books Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs.  Read it together and see what you think.

Good marriages are not hard work. In fact they seem to chug along quite nicely with very little thought. It’s bad marriages that are hard work. Good marriages become bad marriages when mistakes are made that ruin the romantic love spouses once had for each other. These mistakes fall into two categories: (1) failing to meet each other’s emotional needs or (2) making each other unhappy (love busters). I cover the mistakes of the first type in my book His Needs, Her Needs, and mistakes of the second type in Love Busters. Either type of mistake can destroy romantic love, and it’s always much harder to be married to someone you no longer love. But if you meet those unmet needs, and stop hurting each other, even if it feels unnatural and awkward to you, love is eventually restored, and then being married is easy again.

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

(1 votes, average: 2 out of 5)

 Loading ...

Share This  |  Email It  |  Print This Post  |  Subscribe to It!
This entry was posted on Monday, February 4th, 2008 at 1:42 pm and is filed under Expectations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.