No mother-in-law jokes here, but a serious question: Can two women love the same man and still get along? That’s the subtitle of a book by Annie Chapman. The book is The Mother-In-Law-Dance.

Chapman chose that title because she said at first, the mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law may step on one another’s toes. They both have to learn the new dance!

She has advice for both the mother-in-law and her son’s wife.

To the mother-in-law she reminds her that she should be the most mature one, and know when and how to back-off. ..that when the minister asks “who gives this woman in marriage?” the father answers “her mother and I do.” That it is because of her love for her son that she let’s go in ways that she must. Yes, it is hard to turn off the “mommy facet” but is necessary for the well-being of the new marriage.

To the wife, she suggests that she express appreciation to her mother-in-law for raising such a wonderful son to become the husband that he is. I just saw this at a wedding reception, though it was the groom who stood and publicly expressed appreciation to the parents of the bride who he said raised such a wonderful daughter to become his wife. The parents were beaming.

So not a bad suggestion. You don’t have to do it at the reception. You can do it privately, or even in a letter.

Can mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along? Sure, but it may take some effort on the part of both.

You can get Chapman’s book at the link below:

The Mother-in-Law Dance: Can Two Women Love the Same Man and Still Get Along?

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This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2007 at 9:57 am and is filed under Relatives Issues, Conflict Resolution. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.