The old Hee Haw joke was, “I broke my arm in three places” and the friend answers “Then stay out of those places!”

When it comes to marriage you want to stay away from those places that hurt your marriage. One of those “places” is where at least one person in the marriage is a workaholic. The divorce rate is actually twice as high for this couple than other couples (1999 study at University of North Carolina at Charlotte).

To build a marriage (a relationship) you have to spend time together. If somebody is always at work, isolation and emotional distance are inevitable consequences. The person left alone is prone is think about sepation and divorce.

And it’s not just being away physically that can create problems. If a guy is on vacation with his family, but his head is still at work, he is a workaholic.

Now we gotta work, and jobs are demanding. And we may have conflicting schedules for awhile that we work through as couples. But at some point you have to look at what effect your work is having on your marriage.

You don’t want to become “married-singles.” That is, you are legally husband and wife, but you are living separate lives - like train rails running side by side but never touching.

What do you do if your partner is a workaholic?

• It’s something you have to talk about. Every situation is different, so you have to figure out why things are the way they are, and work out a solution so you can have life together.

• If it’s a money issue, cut back or find another way to meet your financial needs.

• Find more things to do together that you both enjoy. Plan it, schedule it and do it

• Get outside help if needed (are there psychological roots?)

Part of your marriage preparation should include a discussion of work, your schedules and how you will safeguard against becoming married-singles.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, October 21st, 2007 at 3:00 pm and is filed under Communication. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.