Below are 12 aspects of a relationship.

Each of you look through the list and decide on 3 that you believe are strength areas in your relationship right now, and decide on 3 that you believe are growth areas in your relationship right now.

Mark a “S” beside the 3 strength areas and a “G” beside the 3 growth areas. Whoever goes first, be sure your responses are covered so your partner can’t see what you have marked (or print two copies of this page).

When you both are finished, take a look and see if you marked most of the same areas. Discuss any differences, and what you were thinking when you marked what you did.

She says (left side) and He says (right side)

___     communication skills        ___

___     resolving conflicts         ___

___     expectations of marriage       ___

___     money matters         ___

___     shared recreation activities   ___

___     children & parenting views     ___

___     extended family issues         ___

___     husband / wife roles        ___

___     family backgrounds        ___

___     religious views & practices    ___

___     personality concerns        ___

___     sexual relationship issues     ___

Go to this page for a list of questions for each of the above relationship areas to help you get started in a discussion of the areas each of you decided was a growth area.

While you may have discussed many of these areas in your courting, this exercise provides an organized approach to help you focus on the most important things you need to talk about right now.   

NOTICE! This is a fun & helpful exercise.

Should you hit some bumpy spots, remember to practice good communication principles like these:

• Let your partner be honest with you. You don’t have to like or agree with what you hear, but negative reactions cause your partner to shut down. These reactions could include defensiveness, anger, put-downs, and threats. 
• Listen. Give your partner the time they need to express their viewpoint & seek to truly understand.  Ask questions, & put in your own words what you hear said.
• Speak to each other in a normal tone of voice.
• Remember the goal is to strengthen your relationship. This will enable you to work together toward solutions.

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This entry was posted on Monday, September 10th, 2007 at 10:32 am and is filed under Communication. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.